I had to detox my bitterness before it destroyed me

I didn’t realize I had become bitter until bitterness was all I could taste. At first, I just thought I was angry. Then I thought I was just hurt. Then I said I was “over it.” But I wasn’t. I was just better at hiding it.

I smiled in public and simmered and stressed in private.
I said, “I forgive,” but inside I kept a file on everybody who had ever wronged me.
I didn’t necessarily want to get even - but I definitely didn’t want to get close.

Bitterness doesn’t always show up as rage. Sometimes it sounds like sarcasm.
Sometimes it looks like withdrawal. Sometimes it disguises itself as strength - but it’s really pain protecting itself by wearing armor.

Bitterness is what happens when wounds go unhealed.
It’s an emotional infection. And no matter how spiritual I tried to act - I was leaking the toxins of my past into everything good in my life.

I couldn’t TRUST.
I couldn’t LOVE DEEPLY.
I couldn’t FEEL JOY without deep suspicion.

And eventually…I couldn’t breathe without bitterness choking me. That’s when I knew: I had to detox. Not from substances. But from resentment, unforgiveness and the need to stay angry.

Jesus didn’t just come to teach me coping mechanisms to tolerate pain. He came to forgive my sins, heal my heart and break every yoke of bondage. But I had to give Him access to the places where I was still bleeding, still blaming and still holding on to the story that made me a victim instead of a vessel.

Forgiveness wasn’t a feeling. It was an act of obedience. And with every step of it - every surrender, every release - I felt something start to break off of me.

Chains I didn’t even know were there. Weights I had gotten used to carrying. Tears I didn’t know were still waiting to fall.

I had to detox my bitterness - before it destroyed me.

I no longer harbor bitterness toward those who hurt me… not because they deserved it - but because I needed it. Because God offered it. Because bitterness was KILLING me…and forgiveness is where I found life again.

And now, I can finally breathe.
I can really love.
I can truly walk in the reality of my healing.

Walk Well

POLRis4Life